Engagement Party, Part III – The Main Event

Our rings – photo by me, all rights reserved

Marriage means different things to different people.

From the way they were raised, the culture they grew up in, to their religious beliefs, traditions, and personal values. When two people decide to tie the knot, they have to figure out how they want to do it, what things are important to them, and then balance those things with the perceptions and expectations of their friends and family.

When The Fiancé and I announced that we were engaged, there was much joy and jubilee – and then, as we should have anticipated, inquiries as to our wedding plans. Our… our what? Oh, right, a wedding!

For us, marriage is an expression of love. It is intimately tied to how we feel about each other. We weren’t doing it to make it official, or to prove it to anyone, but for us. It was important that we include our families, and welcome them into our future lives together… but we still wanted a celebration that reflected our feelings and sensibilities.

While big, spectacular weddings have their benefits, we found there just were too many reasons for us to go a different direction. We thought about what mattered most, and worried that such a large event would distract us from our focus. Our idea of a wedding wasn’t big or traditional – it was small, and intimate. It was jeans and a t-shirt, be yourself, crack-open-a-cold-one… comfortable, just our families and us.

That was our take on things. Our style, our taste. That doesn’t mean it’s everyone’s cup of tea, though. I don’t think there’s a bride and groom out there who don’t have well-intentioned friends and family members trying to help, each with their own view of things. For some people, there’s the struggle over families that aren’t fond of the relationship to begin with – thankfully, I can say I have no idea what that’s like (I’m as likable as a kitten!) – but for others, it can be as small as explaining to their friends that there would be no actual “wedding”. Sorry, guys!

But without a doubt, I can say we are exceedingly lucky to have such supportive families, and understanding friends. Even though our celebration didn’t fit the classic mold, it was just as important to us. An announcement of our commitment to one another. A celebration of the love we share. And a toast to our future.

Thank you so much, to everyone! Cheers!

I rose with the sun the morning of our party, and started the day off with a hot mug of tea and the view of my mom’s incredible gardens. I was up at just the right time to see a morning glory and a moon flower open simultaneously!

The house – photo by Jeff Bannow

 And also started prepping the food and drinks. For dinner I prepared this simple Fish En Papillote (click for recipe). With the help of my mom and Hilary we got all the fish wrapped up before everyone arrived, which made for a low-fuss evening. I also laid out platters of cheese, crackers, nuts, and fresh fruits for snacking, along with fresh loaves of bread from Zingerman’s.

The very happy couple – photo by Jeff Bannow